Is respect earned?

MayCaesar

I have a basic level of respect for everyone, and then, based on their actions, it can go up or down. If the scale of respect is from 0% to 100%, then let us say that everyone I meet starts at the 70% level, and as we start to interact, it changes. I guess it is much easier to lose my respect than to earn it, but I also choose my social circle carefully, so in practice more people earn it than lose it. That is to say, in most cases my assumption that someone is worthy of high level of respect turns out to be justified, and in those rare cases when it is not justified, I just distance myself from the person.

To say that respect is never earned strikes as disingenuous to me. Have you never met a person who initially did not impress you much, but over time your respect for him grew? Is that not the same as him earning your respect?

iamzombie

@MayCaesar I think the kind of respect you are talking about is different than what I am talking about. I'm talking about how you treat others, not how much you impress them. 

Factfinder

@iamzombie

I thought @Maycaesar's first sentence made it clear he was talking about he treats people with respect and his subsequent elaboration substantiated he was. Did I miss something? 

iamzombie

@Factfinder

The part where they asked, "Have you never met a person who initially did not impress you much, but over time your respect for him grew?" 

Factfinder

@iamzombie

Not being impressed doesn't equate to disrespect. You can be not impressed with my responses but that doesn't mean I will feel insulted.

iamzombie

@Factfinder I don't believe not being impressed equates to disrespect. The word has more than one meaning. 

just_sayin

@iamzombie
I think you may be conflating the ideas of considerate and respect.  To be considerate deals with a set of behaviors given to be polite to others.  Respect deals with feelings of admiration.  If I am in need of installing a sink, I will respect someone with a lot of experience doing that and who has a good rating, rather than my cousin who has never done it.  I may be considerate to my cousins in explaining my preference for a professional to do the work, while respecting the plumber more with regard to that task.

MayCaesar

iamzombie said:

@MayCaesar I think the kind of respect you are talking about is different than what I am talking about. I'm talking about how you treat others, not how much you impress them. 

How I treat others depends on what I think about them, so these things are interconnected. Someone who I respect, I treat with respect; someone who I do not respect, I do not treat with respect. I do not like the idea of treating everyone as if I respect them, for that takes away from my ability to demonstrate genuine respect to those who I respect. If I treat a random homeless person as well as I treat my lover, then why should my lover assume that I care more about her than about that homeless person?

I do not like to be a jerk, but I think it important to be authentic, even when it is socially inconvenient. I will not insult someone to their face, but if I have to interact with them, then I will make it clear that I do not regard them highly. If I were hypothetically to talk to Putin or Jinping, I would call him a nasty dictator. I do not owe courtesy to people who fail to live up to even my most basic expectations.

Barnardot

@iamzombie Your right. Earning respect is just a made up expression to make gullible suckers think that they have to crawl up to some one and suck there appendage before they get respect from the suckee so to speak.

Respect is a personal thing that is decided and held by the person who has the respect.

Barnardot

@just_sayin ;I will respect someone with a lot of experience doing that and who has a good rating, rather than my cousin who has never done it. 

So why would just a thing like installing a sink make you have no respect for your cousin? It sounds pretty rough to me.

just_sayin

Barnardot said:

@just_sayin ;I will respect someone with a lot of experience doing that and who has a good rating, rather than my cousin who has never done it. 

So why would just a thing like installing a sink make you have no respect for your cousin? It sounds pretty rough to me.

I could respect my cousin for many things, plumbing would not be one of them.  Respect is not some blanket thing that applies to every aspect of someone.  If I have respect for my barber and his abilities to cut and style hair, it doesn't mean that I would recommend him as a brain surgeon.  

Factfinder

just_sayin said:

Barnardot said:

@just_sayin ;I will respect someone with a lot of experience doing that and who has a good rating, rather than my cousin who has never done it. 

So why would just a thing like installing a sink make you have no respect for your cousin? It sounds pretty rough to me.

I could respect my cousin for many things, plumbing would not be one of them.  Respect is not some blanket thing that applies to every aspect of someone.  If I have respect for my barber and his abilities to cut and style hair, it doesn't mean that I would recommend him as a brain surgeon.  

But you respect a jealous god jealous of it's own creation. How do you live with yourself?

Barnardot

@Factfinder ;But you respect a jealous god jealous of its own creation. How do you live with yourself?

Well when you think about it if you have respect for God then in actual fact you have respect for nothing.

jack

iamzombie said:

Is respect earned?

Hello iam:

Nahhh...  Respect is comensurate with ones bank account..

excon

Barnardot

@jack ;Nahhh...  Respect is comensurate with ones bank account..

Yeah but your still got to earn the money that goes in there. Like derr.

JulesKorngold

Respect is a famous song by Aretha Franklin. 

Barnardot

@JulesKorngold ;Respect is a famous song by Aretha Franklin. 

Well with respect that song was written and sung by Ottis Redding.

Urethra Franklin only covered it.