Single and childless, an accomplishment?

AlexOland

 I mean, what are you asking for here? 

 If being single and childless is what makes you happy then what input are you waiting for?

WinstonC

@Kristina52 I can see that you had some negative experiences due to negative examples of relationships and parenthood. This isn't any reason to overgeneralize though. Like with any phenomenon, some parents are bad and some relationships are bad. On the other hand, some relationships are great, and parenthood can give great meaning to one's life. Not every relationship is like the one your parents had, in fact nowadays it's not uncommon for the woman to be the dominant one. Any healthy relationship requires mutual respect and a healthy balance of power between lovers.

Of course, not everyone wants children or a relationship and that's their choice to make. There is certainly a lot of work and responsibility in raising a child. I wouldn't say that a lack of either thing is an accomplishment in and of itself, however. Nevertheless, I'm sure lacking in these things gave you a lot of time to achieve things outside of these domains.

MayCaesar

There is nothing wrong with being single, if it works for you. I am 29, also currently single, never even been in a serious relationship. I am happy alone and I treasure my independence and freedoms, although I am open to the idea of marrying someone and having children with them - provided they truly make my life happier. I do not have a need to form a family, and that, I think, makes me much less likely to make a wrong choice as far as the partner goes. Many people are in such a rush to get married that they will accept virtually anyone who accepts them - which costs them in the long run.

Now, if you deep inside do not want to be single, but are single for whatever reason - then that is another matter. You should do in life what makes you happier, and sometimes the action itself is not a pleasant one. Sometimes you have to overcome your insecurities, to expose yourself, to take risks - for the ultimately bigger reward.
But it does not seem to be the case here, so I see no reason for you to do anything in order to change your status quo.

AlekseySalaz

@Kristina52 I didn't read the paragraph thingy but it depends on what you define as an accomplishment. As an organism you are losing, as the life purpose of organisms is to reproduce. If you are happy then I suppose that is an accomplishment. If your job pays you well or if you have a good financial life then yes that is an accomplishment. All depends on your definition.

GeoLibCogScientist

Success and accomplishments are primarily defined by the person who views them as such.

For me, personally, I would have viewed myself as a loser for being single some years ago. However, my mindset changed as do most people's. It all depends on your point of view. Based on your story, it sounds like you wanted this and your story sounds like you had a background and environment which would have made it more difficult. Provided you wanted to be single and I'm reading things correctly, then for you personally, this was absolutely an accomplishment. 

MayCaesar

@GeoLibCogScientist

Exactly. A lot of people regret being single, but then, once they start dating, get into a relationship and get married, start missing their single days. Both options have their upsides and downsides.

It really depends on the perspective. It is better to know what works for you personally and go with it, than surrender either to the societal pressure or to the individual insecurities and go against one's deep inner desires.

YeshuaBought

I don't want children, and I don't feel like anything is missing.

jesusisGod777

This is sad.

I don't really know how to answer.

If bad things happened to you, all I can say is trust is Jesus the God of creation. If you want something and God wants to give you something that's his, you have to ask.

The majority of men want a relationship, however, I have realized many fathers we're abusive.

You have to let the past go. If you hold onto it, emotionally you'll never move on from what happened.

Jesus is Lord. Ask him to help you.

YeshuaBought

@jesusisGod777 Amen.