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BonitaVanhooser

Greetings!

In my opinion, parenting has become the toughest job nowadays especially if you are a single or even parent of a teen. Whenever I try to argue with my 13 years son about the use of smartphones, I always found him little aggressive. As I can't have an eye on his activities that's why I decided to block some websites from his devices tablets and smartphones etc. Do you think it is a good idea? As a parent do you also willing to take some precautions about to censor the activities of your kids or teens on smart devices?

Secondly, I am not sure where I will that list of sites that I need to block at my son's phone and I just found these sources in this regard.

https://www.familyorbit.com/blog/list-of-inappropriate-websites-to-block/
https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/sites-parents-add-block-list/

However, when I talked with my friends, they raised a point that what I will do in case, kids find alternates of them? That was a real concern of every teen's parent. I would like you guys to discuss it in a general way instead of only focusing my son because it is a real threat for every parent nowadays and yes, we can't say no about the use of smart devices because his consequences would also be negative. In addition, I also found some parental control routers here https://thewiredshopper.com/best-parental-control-devices-routers-to-buy/ in my Google search. Do you think such devices will help the parents? I never tried and have no knowledge about them so I want to get more information about their pros and cons and uses.

As it is about our future (kids are our future) so I expect this topic would be discussed in a very serious manner here with feasible and worth reading solutions.

Waiting for your responses. 

RS_master

Even though I am a student I believe parental blockage is useful otherwise children might see inappropriate things, pictures or links and might get hacked. It can get a bit annoying sometimes but prevents us to insecure and inappropriate blogs.

RichardCarter2021

It's always a good idea to keep a watch on your child's activity. Blocking out websites that is inappropriate for children/teens (pornographic material, for example) is a great start to this. If the device has it, you can even gain access to what your child has seen to see if they've seen anything that they shouldn't have been seeing. This is not only for the safety of your child, but to grow them up to live a healthier way.

However, getting them out of everything is impossible. There are roughly around 350 MILLION porn pages on the internet, and more are made every day. And anyone can't block that many porn sites. There are probably way more game sites and too, so if some are blocked, there are guarantees that child will get to it. So personally, while blocking websites the child can access can help prevent what the child may see, they're inevitably going to go to where you don't want them to go. Always keep check of the kids' browsing history.

BonitaVanhooser

@RichardCarter2021

I think Google should launch its policy for kids or even can launch its App Store Version of kids or search engine like YouTube Kids. 

YeshuaBought

Yes. If I wanted to parent a child, I would want to block porn sites, for example, as well as Planned Parennnnnnnnthood.

RS_master

The only problem I have with parental blocking is that sometimes I get blocked from using google. Google is meant for research. You can sometimes check the history of the childs use. Parents should block children from some websites but definitely not research websites.

xlJ_dolphin_473

I believe that parental blocking is a good idea because it gives your children a safer user experience online. It could also prevent children from seeing inappropriate content, eg pornography. Your children will not see any inappropriate content, and they also will be safe from more serious risks like radicalisation. There are problems, though. For example, you can get blocked from research websites, like @RS_master said. Also it can be expensive for a good filter, but I think it's worth it for your kids to be safe.

MayCaesar

I am of the opinion that kids should not be sheltered from the real world, but exposed to it. My parents have never used parental control; I was free to play any games I wanted and browse any websites I wanted. I had a head on my shoulders, after all, and knew what can traumatise me and what I should not do at where I am at.

This trend in the modern developed world towards protecting people from all possible sources of discomfort, such as "adult content" or "offensive speech", is not something to celebrate. Kids growing up in sterile environment are not going to suddenly become mature upon starting the adult life; they will have a hard time adjusting to it and will make many mistakes in the process, mistakes easily avoidable by earlier exposure to some of the adult things.
Ever seen those videos on Youtube, with adults literally crying over losing a video game match? That is the consequence of growing up in a shelter, deprived of all challenges and the incentive to grow a thicker skin.

My policy, if I ever have children, will be simple: do whatever you want, but understand the consequences. If you want to smoke pot at the age of 10 with your friends, I will not stop you - but I will have a very serious conversation with you about it, tell you what I think, how much I disapprove of it and why you will regret doing it later. But I will not punish you for it. I believe that the role of the parent is to guide the child, not to enslave and control them.
By the same token, the child is responsible for their mistakes. Took a car loan at the age of 16 you cannot afford? Too bad. Do not expect me to bail you out just because I am your dad. Go through this experience and deal with it, and you will be stronger for it and learn some valuable lessons in the process.

This, I believe, is where my parents messed up a little bit: they never forced me to face my challenges on my own, and always helped me out. Granted, sometimes helping is reasonable, but it should not be a rule of life. I had a very hard time developing proper work ethics, for example, when turning adult, because I was never pressured into it in my childhood. For some people, extensive coddling can plain make them unable to survive in the adult world on their own, and they end up relying on their parents' help or on governmental welfare programs, falling apart as individuals.

smoothie

Blocking inappropriate sites makes sense, however it is extremely easy to bypass blocks if a child really wants to get somewhere. VPNs and mac address changing is free and available. In turn, I would rather have a parent talk directly to the child in person about the seriousness of inappropriate sites instead of silently blocking sites.

AmericanFurryBoy

From a security standpoint, it’s a good idea. It doesn’t matter if he’s browsing porn sites, it matters if he’s browsing porn sites that'll download malware onto his device.

ZeusAres42

Yes, it is a good idea. FYI, there are ways to prevent kids from getting round the anonymizers, VPN's, etc. Of course, it might be an advantage if you're kind of tech-savvy though.

xlJ_dolphin_473

@ZeusAres42
It is relatively easy for kids to get past parental blockage by using the Tor Browser. If there is somewhere that kids really wanted to get for some reason, they could do so provided they had a little bit of technical know-how.
https://www.torproject.org/

smoothie

I got through every single blocker my schools, parents threw at me. I hardly had any tech experience as a 12 year old either. It it incredibly easy to do.

This style of parenting is ineffective and may just open your child to learn how to bypass them. (which I guess is a learning experience if you want that)

Talk to the child in person, don't let technology babysit them. If you find they misbehave, turn off the router.

ZeusAres42

@smoothie

smoothie said:

I got through every single blocker my schools, parents threw at me. I hardly had any tech experience as a 12 year old either. It it incredibly easy to do.

This style of parenting is ineffective and may just open your child to learn how to bypass them. (which I guess is a learning experience if you want that)

Talk to the child in person, don't let technology babysit them. If you find they misbehave, turn off the router.

It's also incredibly easy to make sure no child gets through blockers etc if you know-how. And trust me, I know-how.