Hey all you Christian kidz out there in virtual land, howz it all goiiiiiiin?
Like I know what it was like growin outa the whole Santa Claus thing....you knews he wasn't real but you kept pretending coz you would still get all the Christmas gifts, right?
And you well and truly knows by now that all that Jesus stuff is just whole heap of guacamole, right? And the only reason your olds sends you to Sunday school each week is so's they can have some quality time together if you knows what I mean.
Well, listen up since I am gonna give you the right advice for you to get outa goin to Sunday school ever again.
Okay, so the next service you go to.....fart. Yeah, you heard me. It's a perfectly natural body function and as you is sittin on them there hard wooden pews that sound is gonna be resonatin so much the stained glass is almost gonna break.
Now if that don't get you kicked outa the place what you gotta do is when the preacher is a preachin, every now and then you just jump to your feet, punch the air and yell out "OH YESSS LORD!".
So, if the preacher still ain't given you the boot you knows by now that he's a gettin mighty aggro and red in the face and it's time to pull out the big kahuna, oh yeah bro, you is gonna bring it on home with this one.
What you do right, is you have a pocket full of marbles. Just after the prayer starts like you just happen to "accidentally" drop one marble down onto the hard floor, then another, pause, then maybe two, pause then just before the end of the prayer, you let go of the whole lot in one go.
I tell you what, it will be Amen for you bro and you know that you ain't never coming back. Then on Sundays you can do what all the regular kidz do like goin to the skateboard park and hangin out at the mall.
Peace bro, stay kool and keep it real.
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