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Losing One's Religion

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("Dear Swolliw, I keep getting this great urge to eat a bacon sandwich yet my religion won't allow it. Is this normal and what should I do?")

Well, Ezra, this is perfectly normal and in fact, we atheists call this part of the normalization process; moving away from your religion and becoming normal. You can lose your religion yet still enjoy the kosher food, friendship and keep going to your wonderful cultural festivals, like those genital mutilation ceremonies. By the way:

Q: How do you circumcise a whale?
A: First you need to send down four skin-divers.

Anyway, Feel free to chomp down on the swine delicacy although, I wouldn't recommend eating it during Shabbat. The great Aussie adage, "as popular as a pork chop in a Synagogue" will take on quite a literal meaning.

So, chuck away the religion, get on down to your delicatessen and bring home the bacon.



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