("Pope Francis has issued new rules obligating priests and nuns to report incidents of abuse or cover-ups to church authorities. ")
Priest: Reporting for duty, Sirrrr.
Cardinal: And what a fine day to visit me. The weather report was right. Did you have your car fixed, by the way?
Priest: Yes Cardinal, I had the engine re-ported.
Priest: I've had good reports about all the work you've been doing with the after-school care at your diocese.
Priest: Yes Cardinal, although I did get a little behind last night.
Cardinal: Well, I trust that you will be able to cover that. Now what have you come to report to me about?
Priest: Ah, Well, I would like to submit this ah, written report to you.
Cardinal: No problem at all. Just place it in the filing tray over there beside the shredder.
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