Is it better to revenge or forgive?

Whenever we are injured, we face the choice to retaliate and seek revenge, or to forgive and reconnect.
When we practice the law of an eye for an eye, we all end up blind. There are certain predictable
responses that trap us into a cycle of revenge. The affront is so painful, so intolerable, that we cannot
accept it, and instead of weeping for what we have lost, we point our fingers or shake our fists at the
one who harmed us. Instead of embracing our sadness, we stoke our anger. Then we feel compelled to
When we cannot admit our own woundedness, we cannot see the other as a wounded person who has
harmed us out of his or her own ignorance, pain, or brokenness. We move along the Revenge Cycle to
rejecting our shared humanity, and the bond between us frays and the social fabric tears. From there it
is a short step to demanding revenge. To buy back our dignity we retaliate. Retaliation, in turn, leads to
more hurt, more harm, and more loss, which keeps the Revenge Cycle going without end. It is not hard
to find evidence of this in our own lives, our families, and our societies.