How to Cheat at Debating

It is time for a seasoned pro who has been on this site longer than anybody else to "give something back" to fellow members who have been struggling to get ahead in their efforts to debate effectively.
And, let's face sit.......Being on the losing side you're going to be pushing jelly uphill right from the start so the last resort for people who find themselves in such a desperate situation is to cheat of course. So here are a few techniques that I have gleaned from others over the years who have found themselves on the wrong side of the truthfulness fence.

      * The historical and numbers tactic: "Thousands of people have been dipping their warts in batwing broth for centuries" That is bound to counteract the weight of any hoity toity factual evidence.. 
      
      * The Non sequitur: "Spirits are invisible and God is a spirit therefore God exists". See, you need to catch them on the run and they won't have time to see through that little trick.

      * Appeal to the person: "How dare you call chiropractors dishonest quacks, my father is a chiropractor and he's not dishonest". If you really want to nail them down on the ultimate guilt trip, this is the tactic to go for.

     * Post several rhetoric, sugar-coated links that say a lot but mean absolutely nothing: Now this is really important when you are on the losing side. For example, arguing the validity of naturopathy because, of course, there is not one shred of evidence out there to find in the first place.            So, all ya needs ta do is go onto those airy-fairy, new age sites and grab some of their wacky links....don't worry....people won't actually read into those links....they will just read the headlines then give up and hey presto...you've won the argument.

      * Beyond the Realm: Okay so you want to shut your opponent out of the argument completely without getting heavy and being real humorous? Then this is the big kahuna...."God is beyond the physical world" or "Crystal healing is beyond the realm of science". Now this one will have your            opponent falling off his chair in stiches with laughter and after coming back from changing his pants, with any luck, he will have forgotten about the post and then, a win for you.

      * The ignorance act: This is handy when your opponent has just thrown in a good mess of damning factual evidence that literally kills your argument. Just don't respond, ignore it and assert your point as if it were the start of the argument......"Water is not wet".

      * The outright lie: Again, very handy for a situation like the last when you know your goose is well and truly cooked to a cinder....."you haven't come up with one piece of evidence"........the opponent will get so frustrated and simply give up.

      * Ye good ole personal attack: When all else fails you need to dip down real deep into the bag of dirty tricks...."You are just saying that because your mind is fixed on believing that the sky is blue and your brain has the efficiency of an infected, retarded amoeba and your genitals sm#%                 &^%&^$# f& ^%^ing ar^&"......Now you are bound to scare away your opponent with that sicko trick because chances are he won't reply for fear of more repeat doses.

These are just a few tips to get you started but feel free to add more and help others feel like they are on a winning streak even though they are total losers.