Historians to this day have not arrived at the consensus on how and why the institution of marriage in human societies came to be. Given universality of this institution (every known culture has had some variation of marriage or civil union in place), it is reasonable to assume that it is not just an arbitrary social construct, but, rather, a very effective way to address one or a few crucial issues arising in every society - but what are those issues?
A few possibilities exist (and a number of them can be behind the institution of marriage at the same time):
- Marriage promotes social stability by enforcing sexual monogamy, consistent reproduction and child-raising.
- Marriage promotes individual harmony and compassion as adults assume permanent responsibility for life and well-being of each other.
- Marriage quells dissent by having the partners make an oath before the government and society, acknowledging their claim over their lives.
- Marriage makes economy and tax management simpler by focusing on large households versus diverse individuals.
- Marriage protects the society from the outside influence (traditionally strongly favoring choosing a partner from within one's society versus from another society - a marriage of an Englisman from 1700-s and a Chinese princess would be viewed with hostility by both the English and Chinese societies, strongly disincentivizing it).
However, marriage is clearly restrictive and, dare I say, contradicting the individualistic spirit of modern developed societies. Aside from painfully arduous divorce procedures in case the relationship between two married partners falls apart, it involves external agents into what is supposed to be a fairly private love affair: other family members, society, government, church... One cynical outlook is that the only reason most people get married is so they can obtain tax exemptions and other benefits coming with marriage. Another cynical outlook is that they do it in order to be accepted by the society: mothers in many cultures are known to be constantly nagging at their adult sons and daughters, "So, when are you finally going to get married?"
Generally, one could say that marriage at this point is mostly a tradition that does not have a very clear function, yet still has some of the effects to obtain which it was originally created. It goes without saying that, all other things being equal, two married partners are generally much less likely to break up, than two unmarried partners. What is not clear is whether it is more of a benefit, or a downside.
The obvious question to ask is: is marriage an outdated institution? Was marriage (as in an institution recognized by the government) to be abolished and moved to the purely private domain, or, perhaps, discarded altogether - would the society be better or worse off?
What do you guys think?
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marriage is an outdated institution, it was created by yee of old to control the moral principles of the population exactly as you have said. effectively it had a purpose back then but its purpose is in question now so we have to look at what marriage has become to continue to justify its existence and or modify its interpretation to suit the needs of today. so in its most basic terms marriage is a union of partners that guarantees sexual exclusivity as well as making a best attempt to guarantee love on in to the future via contractual obligation and public commitment to each partners vows. This is a public display of will or intention to commit to will, one gathers their most important friends and family in some cases even their enemies and rivals to such occasion inviting them to future judgment should commitment made not be honored for the life time of the contract.
in these basic terms I believe marriage is suitable for a modern world as a way of connecting with people, falling in love with somebody and committing to that love via the cold uncaring nature of contract law, what better display of love than hanging the threat of financial ruin over your own heads should that love fail to persist. By acknowledging the absurdly cold clinical nature of modern marriages in practice we can begin to understand where are culture is at in the need for us to have such precise contracts regarding love, we are a fallen society on our way down, staggering in to the abyss of censorship, echo chambers of hate despair and all out war portioned out to the populous by an increasingly aristocratic and established elite few as the devour all of the wealth and humanities collectives dreams along with it, we are at the stage now where they are chewing at they tables legs in their greed and need to a mass absolute power and dominion over us the friendly and decent.
it is in their domain we find ourselves enslaved to their contract law, you are born you are ID'ed you are given a 'Birth Certificate' at your 'Birth' which serves as your manifest on the high seas of earth, you want to 'Pass-port' you will need your 'Birth' certificate for that just like any sea faring vessel with its own birth certificate you set sail in to the world only to find another ship just like you, you fall for the ship and decide to get married signaling to the port authority we will need a marriage certificate as our valuable cargo is now joined and thus worth its combined value to merchants and sellers, and it is this combined value that a marriage affords it partners when the seek finance, credit and creditability, it is in joint income where you will find the bulk of loan transactions, jointed accounts, mortgages belonging to two people with the same bank account and combined income.
again this is all contract law, some parts of it maritime contract law which is interesting in and of itself as the elites see us as no more than assets belonging to state different argument maybe for another time.
so where is the love? the meaning? again its in the joined at the hip type love marriage forcibly produces, in interlinking futures in to a combined dream in both the physically and the willed outcome, which in marriage compels both partners towards their committed to goals at point of marriage. in this view marriage can bee seen as a hypnotic spell cast over its partners a mental feedback loop that perpetuates the coupled partners towards a combined goal committing to the stability of movement towards the goal for the better or worse locked in contract and until death the binding resolution.
A contract such as marriage is needed for love to be committed to in any real terms, the complexity of what better and worse can mean requires detailed plans that offer favorable outcomes, those not married pay a significant financial penalty for such status however they gain the enjoyment of a variety of partners, for some this is preferable and there is no reason to force marriage with use of unfavorable financial conditions or credit status, this penalty should be considered and balanced to equality with marriage status so as to be fair to all, to each their own way of living free to do so, instead our elites would prefer us preoccupied with competition amongst each out for status instead of affording us all equal status, not that it would need affording where people to realize their collective physically mass verses that of the snake like elites, but a married couple sure do mess with Frank and Martha your gonna need a tag team cause they will go down swinging for that white picket fence house in the burbs.
id say its good to have marriage, why not, I mean we have every other form of love for better or worse why not throw marriage in to the fire and just enjoy the heat and the camp sing-song instead
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So when you do that would you be singing Kum by ah?
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When you have a couple falling in love and building a life together it is there morals that guide them not some meaningless out dated contract that dictates what they can and cant do in the privacy of there own kitchen.
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I don't think it's outdated at all there's a practicality in getting married as in its a contract protected by law which was necessary in times past , its not necessary now but I think its the whole committment thing in front of witnesses gives it its universal appeal .
I've rarely come across a woman who didn't find the whole wedding day ceremony and all the trimmings as being something truly desirable and wished for.
I think practicality comes into iy also as in sharing the workload, finances , bills / expenses , then there's the companionship / sharing and caring aspects.
Most people I know are married and most have remained so , the model has stood the test of time.
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I think if it's for you it won't pass you by. I got married when I felt mature enough and came to the table with a sizable down-payment to make on a house , it's worked wonderfully for me so far , as I type this I'm also painting in my studio with doors open on a glorious day as my wife does some paperwork upstairs.
We happily live in the space yet pursue our own interests without interference , my only rule is ......don't touch or move my books as I always have a pile on the go and hate anyone moving or touching them.
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I'm enjoying it I've found someone I couldn't imagine living without so it fits perfectly for me.
When you think a lot of marriages are decided by parents choices and interference as in the arranged marriages in Islamic countries and India and other countries in that part of the world , I know also christians on reaching a certain age are under peer pressure to commit, when I was young an unmarried man in his 30' s was deemed either homosexual or "odd," Dawkins was right when he said religion poisons everything.
Isn't it amazing the way you feel about yourself is like a magnet for attracting other people. I know a case of this in reverse a woman I know had a father who was an alcoholic and she got involved in relationship after relationship where she attracted alcoholics, its weird as she told me she hates alchohol and alcoholics I often wonder whats at play here.
I hope you find a perfect fit , my wife and I constantly challenge each other , laugh and talk a lot yet keep our independence to pursue our own interests.
My wife is out in the garden at the moment ( she loves gardening ) I'm reading with a glass of red , most days pass happily and harmoniously I count myself as fortunate.
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